A wise person once said, “Women aren’t vending machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.”
“So what do you get out of the kindness coin vending machine?”
“More kindness, I expect.”
“Spending kindness coins willy-nilly is irresponsible. A responsible adult saves up their kindness coins and keeps them in the kindness bank, so that they can buy into a kindness mutual fund so that they have kindness income for their retirement.”
“What does that even mean?”
“What I’m trying to say is, you should be a very mean person.”
Today the European Kindness Central Bank announced that kindness inflation across the EU is well above target rates and issued a recommendation that member states institute kindness price controls. President Hollande of France gave a statement calling instead for a weakening of kindness, in order to help European kindness exporters that have been rendered uncompetitive by the strong kindness. Meanwhile, the US kindness treasury has blasted the Chinese government, accusing it of exchange rate manipulation, arguing that Chinese kindness is grossly undervalued.